WELCOME TO FIGHT CLUB
We’re at a time and place now where we are in the last half of the year and it’s time to approach things differently. The first part of this year was good for me, then I had a period where my frustration and my fear caused so much anxiety and depression all I wanted to do was lay in bed and drown out the noise with sleep.
I came to a point where I felt like I had no purpose and no meaning. What is the meaning of life if not to live it for everyone else? What is my purpose if not to make everyone else happy? I’m not going to lie, the identity crisis was real after moving back home after living on my own for a year. I wasn’t dancing because I hated it. I wasn’t moving because I felt like I didn’t have a reason to. I wasn’t doing what made me happy because I didn’t feel like I deserved it.
Here’s a couple of things I’m learning right now in this last half of the year. Number one, happiness is temporary. Happiness outside of moments and passing memories don’t exist. If you’re pursuing happiness you’re pursuing the wrong thing. Happiness is a fleeting moment that makes you feel something, like when you drink alcohol, when you get high, it’s a fleeting moment.
If you’re learning who you are and are cultivating a space of identity, then cultivate a lifestyle of joy. Happiness is temporary, but a lifestyle of joy is continuous. So yes, while some of it is about finding out what makes you happy, it’s also about what brings you long-term joy. For me, my hobbies bring me joy. It gives me an outlet and gives me the ability to breathe and enjoy the moments and connect with myself.
One of my main hobbies is boxing. I love boxing and fighting and I did it pretty frequently back in LA, training with Box ‘n’ Burn and a few of my friends who were coaches. I enjoyed being able to isolate power and feel powerful and in control once again. There’s a level of freedom and technique, so I decided to pursue it more often. My friend bought me a punching bag, my other friend gave me some gloves, and even though I haven’t mounted it yet, I’ve gotten creative with how I use it. Recently I modeled for Pro Boxing Supplies and I had a blast doing the campaign of showing both sides of my personality- the rough side and the elegant side.
Training for a mental fight in a physical way has been motivating for me and has helped me find focus and purpose and given me an ability to find joy in the midst of recovering from pain, from loss, and from grief.
Pain is a part of life. Loss is a part of life. Grief is a part of life. And if you can’t find joy in it, it will swallow you whole. So I’ve made it a point to reclaim my life back from depression and anxiety, from panic and manic that goes on in my life. I am now working with a new job, I’ve just recently started calendar blocking again so my life feels a little less chaotic and a little more organized, I’m in the middle of renovating my space to make it more conducive for what I need it to be, and I am beginning to dance again, slowly but surely.
Right now I’m taking advantage of the last part of my year pursuing a little more about my identity and to take the time to cultivate a lifestyle of joy. What brings you joy and how would you begin to cultivate a lifestyle of joy? Join in the conversation and let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
THE ELEVEN RULES OF LEADERSHIP
Something I’ve learned throughout the years is about leadership. From an early age I was learning leadership skills from my parents, who are exceptional leaders. They taught me what makes a good leader, and aside from that, in my spare time during highschool I learned from books, audios, and videos from successful people what being a good leader looks like. These are all things I have practiced and a few more things I’ve learned in the process through being in the field.
No. 0.01 | Be a Self Motivated Learner
“There is no failure. You either win or you learn.”
Being a self-motivated learner is important to becoming a good leader, because you have to manage yourself. Even if you’re a leader who is under another leader, you need to be self-motivated enough to learn about what you’re leading, who you’re leading, and how you can improve the system. You are, at the end of the day, your own boss as a leader leading a certain organization, company, etc.
No. 0.02 | Don’t Run From Confrontation
“Confrontation is better than insinuation.”
A study was done where they put aggressive, passive-aggressive, assertive, and passive people in a room and they discussed how each dealt with confrontation. All leaders have to deal with confrontation and all leaders don’t handle it the same way. I don’t believe anyone likes confrontation, but some are much more comfortable doing it than others. We have a saying in my house, “You’re a powerful person!” This basically is a trigger for all of us so we can remind each other that we are each powerful enough to assert ourselves and talk things through when we have issues.
As a leader, you’re going to have to do things that you don’t want to do. So instead of running from confrontation, don’t be afraid to face it. At the end of the day, it’s about how you say it. If you say it with honor, love, and respect, then you will gain their respect by addressing them from a standpoint of honoring them in their role and in their position.
No. 0.03 | Take Initiative
“Those who take initiative at work don’t do it because they are stupid, they do it because they understand the concept of responsibility.”
Being a leader has a level of gaining trust with peers, with those you’re leading and those who are leading you. When you go above and beyond in your area, this is noticed, and people gain respect for you and trust you. Taking initiative is what makes you valuable to your workplace. Continue being more responsible in the sense of doing what you can and going beyond. The worst thing you can say to someone, no matter who it is, goes something along these lines: “That’s not my job.” If I were in the position to do so, I would fire anyone who would have the audacity to say so.
No. 0.04 | Assert Yourself As The Leader
“You can be both assertive and kind. A good leader does both and.”
Assertive leadership is incredibly important because you will always encounter people with alpha personalities even if they haven’t the slightest clue about leadership. When you come into contact with alpha personalities, it is important to position yourself in a way that shows who you are and allows you to own your identity.
And if you’d like to find out more, go to my YouTube channel, The Ellie Way, subscribe, and watch my video of the eleven rules of leadership to learn more!
BOSS CHATS | AN UPDATE
B.O.S.S. Chats has been going well! It’s been such an incredible learning experience in producing a consistent podcast as well as interviewing a lot of people in the business industry. My mom and I have been incredibly fortunate to do this, so thank you so much for listening.
At this time, we’ve learned a lot. I think the biggest takeaway from the episodes we’ve had so far is that our businesses are there to help and serve other people. If we start a business only to make money, then we aren’t doing it for the right reasons. Of course, that is a major part of it, but it’s only a small part. More importantly, our businesses are there to help and serve other people in whatever medium we are offering.
From Eric Yun, we’ve learned that if you can monetize a passion, then you have a business, and to focus on where people are looking for solutions. From Robert and Kay Lee Fukui, we learned that there are ups and downs in every business cycle, so if you’re going to be in business, make sure that there’s a purpose to why you started it. From Jill Monaco, we learned that business is relational and that our businesses are made to help and serve others. David and Stacy Whited had a great quote that rings in my head time and time again- “Poverty is not the absence of money, it’s an absence of hope and ideas.”
We’ve had a lot of impactful episodes with so many great people and we’d love it if you would join the conversation about the business of sweet success. You can listen on Apple, Spotify, as well as any other platform you get your podcasts.
Support our podcast here.
July had been a really crazy roller coaster ride and has felt like a really long month. My birthday was a wonderful day and I had so much fun. We went to the beach the day before my birthday with my family. On my birthday, I cut my hair and left my teens behind. My best friends came over for dinner and celebrated my 20th with me after and it was so much fun. I felt so loved and it was the best birthday I could remember.
This month has also been crazy in the number of miracles that have happened. My car was hit almost two months ago by an unlicensed motorist. About a month and a half later the car my Dad was lending to me, the car broke down and we decided it wasn’t worth it to pour so much money into it. With my Mom and Dad, we decided to sell both cars. Luckily, we got a good amount for them and we also negotiated with the motorist who hit my car and received a payment from him. By a miracle of God, someone gifted to me enough money to add to my car fund to buy a car outright in cash. I cried when I found out and I was so grateful for the miracle.
In addition to this miracle, another one has happened that I can’t talk about yet. However, I have seen God move in my life as a provider, as a promise keeper, and a friend, and it has helped my trust become more cultivated with Him. It’s been amazing to see Him move in so many incredible ways and just watched what He’s doing through my Friday night services and my kid’s meetings.
If you’re needing a miracle from God, all you need to do is ask. What miracle do you need, and what battles are you being victorious over in the end? Leave me your thoughts about this month’s issue in the comments below!