Keeping Emotions Out Of Business

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This unfortunately is something that seems to be a lot more easier said than done. We say things to ourselves to make us feel better when we face rejection or objection or opposition, things such as, “Don’t be sensitive; don’t take it personally; get over it, you’re better than that; etc.” But when we say such things to ourselves, does it actually make us feel better? I know for a fact that for me personally, I don’t feel better. I somehow go on this bunny trail of complaining and making excuses and throwing myself a pity party.

It’s a lot easier to just say to ourselves, “Don’t be sensitive!” than to actually apply that critique. Personally and internally, we have to choose every time we face such a hurdle to not take it to heart. We have to learn that our relationships with people and business development do not go together. Business and our emotions that we feel with certain people do not mix well.

Here’s an important point that if we can get it, we can push past everything we go through to become successful: It’s not personal.

If you feel like someone is projecting their rejection onto you, chances are it has nothing to do with you. I have found it to be the case with 90% of people who have said no to even looking at my business because of their bad experiences with “something like this.” Chances are it could also be their experience with personal rejection, and that could be a reason they are subconsciously projecting it onto you.

Sometimes it’s also genuine disinterest. You can’t blame someone who is unmotivated, uninspired, and doesn’t even care about it to be genuinely interested. Hey, be thankful they said no! Think of it this way: they are saving you the time, energy, and resources to pour into someone who doesn’t even want it. This applies the same to the fact that some people might be insecure with themselves and they cannot get past that to realize they can be more. This also applies to those who are comfortable in their comfort zone.

Common emotions I have felt in my time in the business world is discomfort, feeling awkward and out of place, rejection, and irritation on a consistent basis. There are other factoring emotions as well, like frustration, even sadness, etc. But I’m talking about the type of emotion that happens when I speak to other people.

For me, I’ve allowed myself to be hurt. I mentioned in an earlier episode that I’ve had people tell me genuinely, “Don’t talk to me about business ever again.” Ouch, that hurts! I allowed it to rattle me and throw me off course. I didn’t get back onto the horse until probably two to three months after the third person told me that. Now, I have a lot to make up for. I regret letting discomfort and rejection make it’s way into my ability to do what I needed to do, but I recognize that this was also a major learning experience, which is good.

I’ve allowed myself to be irritated. I also mentioned this in an earlier episode that I had a client trying to negotiate my rates with me. You better believe that made me irritated. Luckily, when I received messages back in forth, it was over text, which meant they couldn’t hear how irritated I really was. Who knows? Maybe you have a client trying to negotiate with you and it’s irritating you.

Here’s a tip: smile. Close your eyes, take a breath, and smile. Then go back to the situation and instead of reacting emotionally and handle it like the professional boss you are.

When in doubt, remain professional. Posture is key for this. When I say posture, I’m not talking about fixing the way you slouch or sit up straight (which good posture in all reality will probably help the well-being of your mind), I’m talking about the way in which you present yourself. You’re the boss: don’t allow someone else dictate how you feel.

You and only you are responsible for letting people shake your confidence. We can blame them, we can blame rejection, but ultimately it’s an internal mindset that needs fine turning. So ask yourself these questions: What’s my posture? What’s my heart doing?

Remember this: it’s not a “They like me; they don’t like me,” type of situation. Like I said earlier, the rejection you’re experiencing may have absolutely nothing to do with who you are as much as it has to do with people’s past pain. It sounds so deep, but sometimes, even in a professional arena, pain happens, and people react from pain. When you get a massive cut and you put peroxide on it, it stings. You end up reacting, either by crying, grunting, grinding your teeth, etc. from the pain you feel. Even if you’re intentions are good, the reality is that people don’t give a rip about intentions. They care about action.

So prove to them that your words are true. If they say no, that doesn’t mean they’re not keeping tabs on you. I’ll give you an example. When my Mom first started the business we’re partnered in currently, she gave a presentation with another business partner in the company to one of our close friends. The person they showed the plan to was not at all interested, but she kept watch. She checked in with my mom asking, “Hey! How’s the business going?” By the way, even if someone hasn’t asked that question to you, it’s doesn’t mean anything. They’re still watching. A year later, my mom was making income in the business, and the person she showed the plan to had my Mom share it with her husband and they are now our business partners.

Sometimes it has to do with right timing! Sometimes it has to do with genuine disinterest. Sometimes when it’s the right time and the right person, it will happen. Don’t rush the process. If it’s a no, then take it with grace and move on. Chances are when you show your success in this, they will come around eventually. Some people can take six months, some a year, some even five years. Don’t underestimate the power of right timing.

“Confidence is an inside job. It’s a muscle only you can work and a skill only you can cultivate. People will always lose confidence in you at some point. That’s why you have to be the one who is unshakeable inside yourself and confident in who you are. Learn to be okay if people decide not to trust, like, or be confident in you. That’s their own issue in their personal journey. Don’t let it be yours.”

Thank you so much for taking the precious time out of your day to read this blogpost! I genuinely appreciate your time and I hope you have a fabulous rest of your week being the bosses you are. Love you all!

Peace out!

Hey, guess what?! You can now listen to this blogpost on SoundCloud! Listen to How To Be Your Own Boss Series!


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