Hi everyone, I ended up not writing about the title I posted on Instagram because, well, I honestly just wasn't feeling it.
I've been extremely busy these past few months, and honestly it started getting a little overwhelming. It took me a while to figure out how to manage all my projects, my schedule, working on coming back to dance (yes, I am coming back), and with the stresses of live with family, friends, and elections, it hasn't been easy.
I will say this- God has been so good to me. If you guys didn't know, I've been looking for a car since May of this year. My car was crashed into at the end of May, and by the grace and miracle of God He provided enough money for me to find a car. Over the past several months, I started adding to my car fund, and over time I started looking for a car.
I told the Lord exactly what I wanted: "I want to buy a car that I love in great condition, and I want to be debt free." I started to lose patience and maybe a little faith. My dad and I, with the help of our friends, looked for a car pretty rigorously for a few weeks. One Saturday when I was looking at cars online with my Dad, I looked for a 2017 Nissan Altima.
You might be wondering, "Why that particular car?" One of my great friends owns one, and after driving it several times in the past year or so, I fell in love with it. His car was a 2017 Nissan Altima, and I knew that I loved all the features, I loved how it drove, and it was a perfect car for me. It was the ideal car for me.
So I looked it up, and I found one for less than my budget, my desired mileage, a silver 2017 Nissan Altima. I showed my Dad and we called the owner. The next day we went to look at it, and when I say that it was a divine appointment, it really was a miracle of God. On the spot I gave them a down payment, and we went down that next week to pick it up.
The best part: I am debt free, owning a car that I absolutely love.
God's goodness was so profound to me through this entire process. Not only did He give me more than enough for the car, but He gave me exactly what I asked for.
On another note, after two months of fasting and prayer, I decided to go back to dance. At the beginning of the Covid shut down, God gave me a full plan for what He wanted me to do. It was insane how perfectly aligned everything became- it was exactly as He promised me it would be. He has provided the money and the supplies for me to go back to dance, and the exact person that He told me to work with for this new chapter of my life said yes with no stipulations.
I started ballet when I was seven-years-old. When I was nine-years-old, I took my first exam with the Royal Academy of Dance and entered Grade 3. Under my ballet teacher Jana Kirks, I passed with a Distinction.
If you've been following me for a long time, you'll probably know that it was my dream to pass my Advanced II with a Distinction, which is the highest scoring bracket. I took it twice- the first time I failed it, due to a failed pointe shoe situation. The second time, I passed with a Distinction.
It's been two years since I have been part of the Royal Academy of Dance examinations. When I was about ten, I decided that it was my dream to take Solo Seal. Solo seal is one of the highest awards one could receive. You learn a series of dances and perform it in front of an audience and a panel of judges. If one passes this examination, they are awarded the Solo Seal, which basically indicates that said participant is able to dance at a soloist level in a ballet company.
After my bad company experience and my last season doing Nutcracker with Pasadena Dance Theatre, I quit dance. The Lord spoke to me and told me He wanted me to do Solo Seal, but I didn't want to do it, so I denied it. But I knew in my heart of hearts that it was what He was saying. He gave me a full blueprint and told me how He was going to provide the money. Knowing I was about to step into this new season of my life, I began to fast and pray for more strategy and a final answer. I told the Lord, "Provide the car, provide the money, and provide me a teacher." And He did just that.
I know I have a very long road ahead of me, but I always believed that if you want to see change happen, you have to be the change. The Ballet world, though it has improved over the course of recent, needs major change, particularly in the realm of body image and valuing the dancers. If a size 2 girl in the dance world is considered "Fat," then there needs to be a massive change.
I myself have complained enough about the problems of emotional and mental abuse and body shaming in the dance world, but complaining will not get you anywhere. Sometimes you just have to be the change. So I am choosing to be the change. Sometimes you have to be the one who paves the way for the next generation of people to step into their full potential when not many can believe in yours.
So in November, I am starting to train for Solo Seal, and I will be training with Pam Soza at Mallory Academy of Dance, bringing it full circle. I trained with Pam when I was nine years old for a time and had Natalia Mallory as my contemporary/modern dance teacher when I was 16. I am so excited for this new chapter of my life, a chapter I never thought I would enter into, a dream I never thought I'd ever see come true.
Thank you, for all of the support that you have given me over the course of the past four years. I am so lucky to have an audience as invested and kind as you are. I love you all, and thanks for reading my little update.