Happy Anniversary
Happy Anniversary LIFE ON POINTE!
This year, we are celebrating five years of memories, dance, and the blog. If you’re still following from long ago, I hope you’ve enjoyed this wild crazy ride of a journey. It has been full of milestones, happy memories, sadness, brokenness, and in so many ways, ups and downs. It’s been quite an exciting journey, a heartbreaking one, but one so full of life lessons that have made me truly happy to be alive and to share this art with you.
Over the last five years, I have published extremely raw, vulnerable (to a fault at times) articles that really spoke to my point of view and where I found myself in life. They were from my teenage years, many of them with typos, bad sentence structure, and sometimes gave away too much information. I look back and I am so thankful for the outlet blogging has given to me. And as I look forward, I am so incredibly excited for where LIFE ON POINTE is meant to go, as a blog, as a means of helping people, as an environment of education and sharing the joy of dance with everyone around me.
The story behind this new website, which, by the way, was not the planned website, was basically to give everything a refreshed look, one that could be sustainable for the future of LOP. And then the website I designed crashed and I lost the entire website. Go figure (lol). I believe everything happens for a reason, and here we are- something better. You may have noticed that I have some services- I am offering classes, mentorship, and more… so go check that out when you’re done reading this post ;).
I did want to share something I wrote a little while ago. These are the lessons I’ve learned throughout my career (and the last five years especially).
. . .
Right before my last show, I went to see my boyfriend. It was my final show of the season, and the one before I decided I didn’t want to dance anymore. My farewell show. So he asked me as we sat on the couch, “What did ballet teach you?” And for all the years I had been a ballet dancer, I said, “I don’t know.” He, knowing me better than that, knowing that I was upset at that moment said, “Think about it. What did it teach you?”
Ballet taught me discipline. It taught me to have a good work ethic. Everyone loved me for my work ethic, despite the fact if they thought I could make it or not. It taught me that being on right on time means being unprepared. It taught me that being early means showing up on time. It taught me that the world is bigger than me. It taught me that there are people out there better and more talented than me. It taught me the value of appearance. How you show up matters. It taught me that though I was physically limited, the only true limit was my mind. It taught me that my body is amazing beyond imagination. It taught me how to play the game of life.
Then he asked, “What lessons did you learn?”
I learned that there is nothing more important than knowing the reason why you do what you do. There is nothing left if you forget your first love. I learned that some people are cruel. It doesn’t mean that I have to be. I learned that nothing is more important than knowing how my body works. I learned that one person’s opinion doesn’t matter. People don’t get to dictate my determination. I learned that sometimes, hard work doesn’t get you places, but if you can find favor in the sight of the directors, they are willing to offer you things no one else would be willing to offer. I learned that people are willing to break your spirit just to build you back up just so they can live vicariously through your fame to take credit. I don’t have to let them.
I learned that there are people unwilling to respect your boundaries. It’s okay to walk away. Walking away doesn’t mean you’re giving up. I learned that I am a human being. Dance is something I do, not something I am. I am worth more than what people tell me I am. People will put their expectations on you and project their emotions onto you on why you should do something. You have the right to say no. When everyone else tells you to be quiet, remember that you have a voice. It requires the cunningness of a serpent to navigate this dark world, but be gentle because gentleness is the greatest breaker anointing that you could ever carry. A gentle word turns away wrath.
I learned that I cannot control everything. I learned that doing my best doesn’t look like trying to meet everyone else’s expectations, it looks like being myself to the fullest, maturing in my identity, and choosing to say “no” with grace and poise. I learned that if someone is being cruel to me, it’s because the glory I carry by the grace of God is offending a spirit that cannot stand within my presence. I learned how to dance alone in a big studio for the audience of One. I learned that worship within my bedroom is the same within the walls of the church and is the same as bowing in front of the golden curtain on a big stage in front of a crowd of a thousand people. I learned that I don’t have to be the Principal Dancer at the front of the stage doing the biggest role to make the greatest impact. God’s glory is not measured by the role I receive.
. . .
I believe that these are some of the most powerful lessons that dance has to offer. The past five years have been where I have truly learned these lessons, and I am so honestly blessed by the people in my life who helped me remember where I came from and where I have been and the journey I’ve been on.
During 2020, it gave me a chance to have a break, the break I was looking for. This break helped me overcome an eating disorder, trauma, and allowed me to take control of my mental and physical health. It was tough, but getting a mentor, a life coaching, and setting boundaries really helped me learn. These were the things I realized I was never really taught, and wondered: “How would this help the current and next generation of aspiring artists?”
This is what made me decide that I wanted to become a consultant for people, because I love people, but especially dancers. So I ended up applying for a teaching program through the Royal Academy of Dance accredited with the University of Bath. Long story short- I was accepted for their Bachelor Of Arts program. I’m so excited for this new chapter as an artist, a teacher, and as a woman.
Dreams that I thought were broken because of my mistakes came true. Remember that things happen right when they are meant to. Timing is everything. Timing may not be convenient, it may not make everyone else happy, but things happen in the right timing.
I’m excited to continue chasing dreams with you. Cheers to another five years of LIFE ON POINTE.
Cheers,
Ellie Xx
